Calling All Bars 1) Another dinner getting cold in the oven It’s meat and potatos made with plenty of lovin’ And I’m pacing ‘round just wondrin’ when he’s gonna get home Another night wasted slaving in the kitchen I’m eating by myself thinking ‘bout my competition ‘Til I get so mad I pick up the telephone And I’m callin’ all bars have you seen that no good, cheap hood Beer drinking man of mine Calling all bars, if you’ve seen him send him on back to me I’m wilting on the vine He’s smokin’ cigars and playing poker with the boys And leaving me here alone Calling all bars until all hours of the morning When he comes staggering home 2) I’m a saint with the patience of a sinner But I’m the kind of girl without a mean bone in her So I hold back and I hold all my feelings in I don’t fly off in exasperated rages I let my fingers walk down those Yellow Pages ‘Til I finally reach the place where he has been 3) Boys will be boys I never learn my lesson You turn your back they’re always out there messin’ Around ‘cause messin’ around is their favorite sport I can’t join ‘em and I don’t know how to lick ‘em When it comes to losers I sure know how to pick ‘em So I will just rely on my last resort